I Take This Man

Here comes the bride . . . there goes the groom.Penny Bracket waited two years to marry dream man Bram Shiraz. Then on the morning of the Big Day, while shes trying on her veil, Penny receives the worst two-line letter of her life: Penny, I cant go through with it. Sorry, Bram.Pennys hurt and upset. But Esther, Pennys divorced mom, wants Brams head on a platter. So Mom ambushes the cold-footed coward before he hot-foots it out of town, bonks him on the head with a champagne bottle, and spirits him away to a hidden room in her gargantuan mansion in Short Hares, New Jersey. Esther doesnt want much. All Bram has to do is write personal, heartfelt apologies to each of the two hundred disappointed wedding guests . . . and eat every mouthful of the very expensive gourmet wedding feast that has gone to waste. Then hell be free to leave.Penny doesnt want Bram tortured. She just wants answers to why . . . and maybe a little revenge. Will she discover her runaway groom is locked away in the attic? Will Brams widowed fatherhandsome tough-guy Keith Shirazbe able to locate his missing son . . . and maybe seduce Esther Bracket in the bargain? Will Bram be able to maintain his athletic figure after consuming two hundred entres and thousands of baby quiches? Read on!