Stone Me

He is the Human Riff, guitarist with The Greatest Rock n Roll Band in the World and a man of Wildean sagacity and trenchancy I wouldnt warm to Chuck Berry if he was cremated next to me. Ive never had problems with drugs. Only with policemen. On Elton John singing Candle in the Wind: Writes songs for dead blondes. Rolling Stones, I have a question: will this be your last tour?Keith Richards: Yes, and the next five. On Ronnie Wood: Ive known him stoned out of his brain, and Ive known him straight sober. Quite honestly, theres very little difference. The strangest thing I've tried to snort? My father, I snorted my father. He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared. It went down pretty well and I'm still alive. On having shot Ronnie Wood's budgerigar in its cage: Sorry, Ronnie - I didn't think it was real.

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